Worth it All...

Hi. My name is Meredith. I am an over analyzer, over thinker, slow decision maker, planner who likes order. My close friends would tell you that I like to plan things out in advance and it drives me crazy when they don't work out. They would also tell you that I don't make decisions quickly and I tend to over analyze and think so much that I think myself into circles. I like surprises, but not when they deal with my future. I just like order and I like things to make sense. Wow...I sound like a real uptight and boring person. No comments please.

Anyway, all I have ever wanted in life is to make a difference. I've never wanted to have a great name or do anything big and noticeable, I simply want to make a difference in this world. This desire became real in my life at the age of 15 when I fully surrendered my life, job and time to God and His work. Even though I committed to do whatever God had for me, I had a plan. A plan to finish high school, go to college, then land a job in a church and continue doing that until my life was over. HA! What was I thinking?

I followed that plan and finished high school and had finished 3 of my 4 years of college. Now, things had not gone exactly like I had planned, but I stayed as close to the "plan" as I could until God and I had a moment. I was preparing to start my fourth and final year of college and became somewhat overwhelmed with whole idea of the "real world" after college. I knew what I had planned and what I wanted to do, but it wasn't happening like I planned it. What was I going to do?!?!?! I was laying in my bed one night thinking through life because I couldn't sleep. Frustrated and scared about my future I had nothing else to do, but cry out to God. I literally slid off my bed and into the floor on my face before God. After a few minutes I left my "plans" on the floor of my room and got up simply wanting to make a difference in the world. God opened my eyes to two different passages of scripture that night. The first one was what I have coined, if you will, as my life verse.

Philippians 3:13-14, "Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

The second passage was Psalm 37... I love the whole chapter, but especially verses 7 and 11. "Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.... 11 But the meek will inherit the land and enjoy peace and prosperity."

It was at that moment in my life that I forgot my plans of the past, pressed on towards Christ and what He has called me to do and waited patiently before Him for the incredible things that He had for me. I knew God had called me to do certain things, but for that moment all I was called to do was to wait. In the process of waiting I was simply called to make a difference wherever I was. So for the last four years that is what I longed to do. I did not necessarily enjoy where I was at or what I was doing over those years and yes, at times I was miserable, but I remembered that moment, pressed on and waited patiently before God. Over the four years I have not lacked anything I needed and God had always showed Himself faithful, but the past few weeks it just wasn't enough for me. I was miserable. I had an incredible (and busy!) summer and was ready to keep going and find a job. I sent out several resumes and I even drove 275 miles (one way) to interview for a job and kept striking out. I was done. I was so frustrated that I just didn't care anymore. I was at the end of my rope. But God knew exactly what He was doing. I think the Crabb Family's song "Through the Fire" sums up my experience over the past week or so.

He never promised that the cross would not get heavy

And the hill would not be hard to climb

He never offered our victories without fighting

But He said help would always come in time...

Help would always come in time...He did. Just as I was done with everything, He showed up and blew my mind. To make a really long story short, I'll give it in a nutshell of how God worked through not so good circumstances to prove Himself faithful.

Almost two weeks ago I received a phone call from my mom telling me that a friend from church that I had known for a long time had been killed in a tragic accident at work. While my brother was a whole lot closer to him than I was, it still rocked my world and my heart hurt for his family.

As I got up the following Saturday morning to get ready for the visitation and funeral I checked my Facebook to see what was happening in the world. I scrolled down my homepage to see that my good friend from high school was going to be in town for the funeral.

I had not really seen her in a long time besides her mom's funeral this past spring so I was excited about the possibility of catching up with her. I talked with my brother on the way to the church and he told me that she was there and so I drove a little bit faster just to make sure I didn't miss her. When I got to the church the line for visitation was out of the sanctuary and down the foyer. I happened to look up and see my friend and her family standing in line so I went over to say hello. I ended up standing with them in line and catching up as we waited. (Here's a pic of us in high school...don't hold it against us!)

The sum of the conversation equals me saying that I needed a job and her saying she had one for me. I walked away from the conversation never imaging that it would happen, but God had another plan. To make a long story short, by Monday night we had made plans for me to go to Franklin, TN to check out the office and consider a job offer. By Thursday night (less than 5 days since it all started!) I was employed. There was no over thinking, over analyzing or second guessing. I just knew it was the job for me. Not only am I employed, but it's pretty much an incredible job that is Meredith through and through. Working with an incredible group of people, in different aspects of ministry, changing the world one step at a time and using my stored up creativity through it all!

I'm super excited about making this move and the job. I'm ready to make a difference in Franklin, TN and in the world through the things I get to do at this job. While it is a little bit of a bummer that I am moving away from family and friends, I can see God's hands all over it. As I was talking to a friend on my drive home from Franklin she started laughing. She then began to point out how perfect God's timing is. It is absolutely amazing how things come together and things have happened to bring me to such a time as this. As much as I wanted this step in my life years ago, the timing wasn't right and now I see that crystal clear.

Was being miserable for a while worth it? Was forgetting my plans and pressing on worth it? Was sitting back and waiting patiently worth it? Is moving to Franklin, TN away from family and friends worth it? As hard as it has been and will continue to be...YES... it was and it will continue to be worth it all...