Jealous...Really?!? Oh, I get it now.

As I write these blogs reflecting on our trip last Christmas I refer back to the blog Liv wrote while we were there, the emails and updates I sent home and the journal I kept while I was there. Yes, I still have all the emails I sent and all the emails that were sent to me. Yes, I completely understand that I am a nerd, but I also understand that those interactions between my family and friends were some of the sweetest moments of my life...

Anyway, as I look back at them and read over them I'm brought to tears. Tears of joy because of the things God did while we were there, but also the way He is still working in both of us because of that trip. I also have tears of "sadness." Well, not really sadness, but longing. My heart longs and wishes that I was doing the exactly the same things now that I was doing this time last year. I can honestly say that when I set foot in Africa I never imagined that my heart would be captured like it has been... Never would I have imagined that I would long to be on the "mission field."

Anyway...After some time in Kenya we boarded a small plane and ventured to Tanzania. I had been in Africa for 4 days, but I still didn't feel like I was really in Africa. I was excited to touchdown in Tanzania and see what it was all about. For months I heard Liv's family talk for hours upon hours about Mwanza, Tanzania, the people, and the things God was doing there. I was ready to experience it for myself.

Once we landed at the "airport" (and yes I use that term lightly!) we hopped into a cab and began our venture into town. As I was in the backseat squashed up against the door I stared out of the window and soaked it all in. I felt like I was finally in Africa. I enjoyed my time in Nairobi, but the whole time I was there I never felt "settled", if you will, but now I was. It was like all was well in the world and I was back in a familiar, comfortable place and I was at peace with the world. The funny thing was I had never been there before.

Over the next few days we met with some of the street boys and were able to share the Gospel with them, feed them, play with them, and love on them. It in itself was an awesome experience. We also were able to attend church with local brothers and sisters. Liv preached and I was able to do my first African kids church! We spent time with the Limbe family and I was able to get to know Samuel and his precious family. We also were able to go atop a mountainousness area called Mabatini. After we hiked the mountain, in a skirt I might add, we were able to spend sometime with about 50 kids. Most of the kids could not afford school so a local lady was teaching them to read and write. We were able to sing some songs, hand out candy, and share the Gospel. I was able to share a cool little object lesson with them on God's love and well...The object lesson bombed, but I think I got the point across! Anyway, Mabatini was one of my favorite things we did on this trip. I'm not sure why, but I absolutely loved it!

So what did I take away from my first few days in Mwanza? In order to convey that I need to back up and tell you a "story". As Liv and I were preparing to go on our trip we spent a lot of time together preparing and packing. I spent many nights at Liv's house planning and listening to story after story from her and her parents. I loved it! Every time we were working on or talking about the trip and her mom was around she would sit with us and tell stories and what not. No matter what we were talking about her mom would always end the discussion with "I'm jealous of you girls." If she said it once she said it 100 times. I clearly remember the discussion we had the night we packed our bags. We talked about packing plenty of toilet paper because you never know when you might need it or where you might be going to the bathroom in Africa. She shared a story of having to use the bathroom on the side of road one time while traveling...We laughed, she shook her head and said "I'm so jealous." I remember getting tickled because it just didn't make sense to me. Why in the world is she jealous of that? Why is she jealous of us getting eaten up by bugs, taking cold showers, and not having a bathroom to use? I couldn't understand it. I just chalked it up to the fact that she was crazy! ;)

I did not understand it then, but after my first few days in Mwanza I understood it completely. Our last night in Mwanza before we left for the girls home was a "stressful" night. We both were tired and we were trying to get everything packed and ready to leave the next morning. I'm a night person and the kind who likes to talk at night at "debrief" the day if you will. All Liv had on her mind was going to sleep and well, that's what she did. I laid in the bed thinking about my first week in Africa. As I laid there tears rolled down my face as I reflected on all I had seen and experienced. The poverty, the orphans and all the other things that were "wrong", but also the joy, the love, the smiles, and the hope these people have simply because of Christ. The people there are absolutely incredible. I now understood why Paula was so jealous. We were able to spend three weeks with some of the most incredible, passionate, loving, joyful, humble and giving people in the world. Everyone should be jealous.

Liv is leaving in just a few days to spend three weeks there. Now I'm the one saying "I'm jealous!" Jealous...Not bad jealous, but good jealous. (If there is such a thing!) As I think about all the incredible things she's going to get to do, the time she's going to get to spend with some awesome people, and the fact the that she gets to eat some of Pendo's cooking :) I think about how God is a jealous God. He is jealous for me...and you. A small part of me (A VERY small part) understands how He feels. Just as I long to be the one spending time in Africa, He longs to be the one spending time with me. So many times in life I give God my leftover time. Time here and there when I'm not busy with something else and there's nothing good on tv. He's not worthy of my extra time here and there, He's worthy of all my time...My whole life.

Wow...He is jealous for me?!? Hmmm...I get it. Do you?

He is jealous for me,

Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,

Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.

When all of a sudden,

I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,

And I realize just how beautiful You are,

And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us so,

Oh how He loves us,

How He loves us all

Yeah, He loves us,

Whoa! how He loves us,

Whoa! how He loves us,

Whoa! how He loves...